: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
