A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
