You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize