Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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