I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Can you bring me the toilet please
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Randomize
