last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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