is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
should my penis look like a turkey
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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