He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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