Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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