Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
