fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'm sobbing to NWA
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
