i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
