btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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