had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize