Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
