That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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