Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
