it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
