Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i was born a porn star she said
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
