YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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