You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
