what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
