And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
