that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
