Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Do vagina's smell?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
