A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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