Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
