I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize