dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
