Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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