He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
