I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
