apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
