He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I have fence marks all over my body
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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