I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
