It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
