I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
