he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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