1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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