Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Randomize
