awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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