i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
