I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He did a backflip because drugs
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
