Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
