I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
