can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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