I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Randomize
