You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
