That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
