I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Randomize
