Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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