i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
