i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
