Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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