I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
