one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize