his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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