Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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