Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
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