I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
