the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
