i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
