If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Randomize
