i barfeds in our rink
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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